The Red Wagon
Public speaking can be scary. Truth be told I really don’t know the proper way to do it. I don’t know how to create a presentation. I don’t know how to practice. I don’t know how to prepare. I avoided this class in college and somehow got out of taking it. I know there are a million YouTube videos out there, free resources, probably great on line classes that could teach me. So far, I have avoided them all.
I feel like I should really prepare. I have all the attendees captive attention for the set amount of time. I do not take that lightly. What can I say that could make their lives better. What can I say that could make a tiny shift that could have a big impact. With all that pressure, I definitely should not just wing it.
So the last time I presented, I figured I had better prepare. But I didn’t know how. So I defaulted to what I do know, writing. I prepared my presentation and thought that it was pretty good. Then I read it out loud. It sounded like I was… reading out loud. No one wants to watch someone stand in front of a group and read out loud! Gah!
The day of the presentation, I followed an awesome presenter who spoke on a topic that introduced people to a concept that was brand new to most. It was powerful, but it pushed people’s comfort levels and challenged what they believed to be true.
Remember that presentation I had prepared? (insert paper crumpling noise here). Instead I shared an idea that was told to me long ago by my dear friend Lisa Dawn. It could be a Lisa Dawn original or it could be a story passed down through generations – doesn’t matter. I was going through a particularly challenging time reconciling my current reality with what I had always been taught to believe. I’m pretty sure she’d be ok with my sharing it with you.
My memory of this idea goes like this.
When you were little, you were given a shiny, red wagon. All your life you have been pulling around that wagon. Each time you learned a new belief about yourself, the way the world works, how people treat each other, what is right, what is wrong and a million different things, you put them in the wagon. You keep pulling that wagon around and at some point, it gets pretty heavy.
Doesn’t it make sense then, once in a while, to take a look at what is in that wagon to be sure that the contents are still something you want to drag around with you? The thing that you were told when you were 5 and believed… does that still serve you?
When I was 10 or so I got my first “boyfriend”. We dated (walked up to the roller rink after school and played pinball) for however long 10-year olds date (probably 2 weeks). Then he broke up with me. I was devastated. If this 10 year old breakup wasn’t hard enough, he started calling me “dog”. Every time he saw me, he would say “Dooooog!” Each time I was humiliated. Then I started to believe it. In my mind this happened for a very long time. In reality it probably happened a few times. I drug those words, that feeling, and that belief around with me for years and years and years believing this was true and this was my worth.
At some point this “truth” had to be looked at and thrown right out of the wagon. I even had a little help throwing it out. I no longer see myself as a “dog” nor do I think that is a particularly bad thing to be compared to – I like dogs more than many humans!
This is one example of many. What beliefs form your view of the world. Are they beliefs around money? Beliefs around your value? About what you can contribute to the world? About the power of your thoughts and your words? About what is right and what is wrong? Just because you were taught these things does not make them true.
Turn around, take a look at that mountain you are dragging around in your wagon, and start throwing stuff out that no longer serves you. Your load will be lighter and your life simpler. You will make room for new concepts that will help you be your best self. If you cannot do it yourself, find a trusted friend or confidant to help. Find someone who does not think like you and can offer a different perspective. The lighter that wagon, the more ease and grace with which you will travel this life.
The crumpled-up presentation wasn’t delivered as it was written, but we did finally get back to it – hopefully with a little less stuff in our wagon and a little extra room for new concepts that make our dreams reality. I’m grateful for my experience. Grateful that someone reminded me that I was not a dog. Grateful for friends who remind me to turn around once in a while and take a look. Grateful that I am brave enough to do it.